The sound of the heart

bye

2010-09-13T13:45:00.001+08:00

Ola readers...

i guess it has been a while since i last update..

NO NO NO!!!!!

not semangat doposen coz i've been updating my life story at tumblr so i guess I wouldn't be using this space anymore...

why tumblr?

not that i dun appreciate what blogger has done for me but i'm juz keeping up with times..so i'm sure to keep blogging so u readers can still read..till then..

toodles readers!cya at tumblr

wawan07.tumblr.com

thats the url..follow jgn tk follow!hehe!

Love for the loved ones!

2010-08-31T18:31:00.003+08:00

OLA!

Yesterday was awesome I must say..the feelings involve, the company and all..It was estatic!blastful day!

Yesterday was at school, studying and also meeting Rashid discussing some stuffs related to Keseri..(my baby)..

Before all that happen,I was school early to settle some stuffs and I was sorry I hurt you with all those words and I realised all this was about me right from the beginning..& I apologise..but what was important was the feelings involved when saying sorry and saying all those words to you..talking things out..It's what a relationship is really am and to be proud about..which is understanding and ability to communicate between two people..Yeah!And I love the moment..

But later in the afternoon , as promised I treated my parents to Mackenzie Chicken Rice at Prinsep Street(they sell the awesome Chicken Rice!!)..The feelings when I was able to provide them with food, it was such an awesome feeling, the feeling of satisfaction when the people you love most are happy!yepa! below are the pichas!

E Chicken!

Char Quay Satay

Hotplate Beancurd!

Lovely Mama!

Handsome nyeee!hehe!

Peace No war!hehe

So today was spent at Fuhua in earlier part of the day..Teachers' Day Celeb..well most of the teachers arent there anymore but as usual the most important is Cg Rohana..its almost motherly love despite e fact she never taught me...hahaha..love her lots!Thank You!

& then it was lepak-ing session with the fuhua Alumnis, caught up with Hafiz who now has a bike..baek kapa boy!hahah..
& then I went home, rest, study masak nasi!heheh...so gonna buka later at home with Mama only since Papa is on OT..

till then

toodles readers!

Quality Family time!

2010-08-29T18:27:00.004+08:00

OLA!

Saturday's highlight: we all went to meet the geng kereta, Champro to break-fast together...and we ate at some place at Bedok, the food was tasteless but what made it interesting was the company, not to mention the 3 football stars we know of, Fandi Ahmad, Nazri Nasir and Aide Iskandar

Gila-gila with e bapak2

The pretty ladies

Wtih Fandi Ahmad, Nazri Nasir & Aide Iskandar

Pretty mama!

And the ever so nice ME..hehe..
i look different tho..ntah eh

Earlier that day

woke up close to 1,wanted to help dad with cleaning the house but he insisted that i help mum with making of the kueh then..kueh tart, one of my favourite kueh!yepa!so the pictures above says what I did in the earlier part of the day!...

Kueh tart in the bottle!

Before that in the oven

Dad washing the window

Kueh tart tak berinti

Dah berinti yeah!

till then; toodles readers!

sry post terbalik,malas nak susun ye!

heheh
hav fun!

Regular

2010-08-27T18:06:00.003+08:00

comel eh?heh!

Selamat Petang Semua!

Buka ape kah anda hari ini?; cam ade mcm chef celebrity tk?

hehe!

Finally, officially back home, and it feels so nice, so ntah lah ape nk ckp kan, but it is definitely great to be back at my own place..

kenape berpindah randah?adelah cerita yang tak bleh sebut sbrg2..danger tawuk!

I MISS HOME SO MUCH!& I MISS MY BED AND MY LAPPY!

nasib baek lah sexy teman(N97 mini aku)..

So today will be buka-ing at Nenek Jah's hse..ntah ape ke ade tapi suruh buka saner, dtg je lah..got food muz come, no food next time mayb..hehe..and then should be updated later or mayb tml hopefully!

when you chatted to me at msn, tell me about those things that were our history, i couldnt reply, not that i didnt want to, but i was caught up in words that i do not know how to express,and if given a chance I would, but you know i never can..I wouldn't even think that a place like that can be so much of a memory for both of us but i'm pretty sure that everything will be fine..

rmb, when u came that time, u weren't alone..rmb how you shocked me then..

so even when u rmb it now, i rmb it too as the first time i was hurt, when you came to me with someone else

perhaps that's why i couldn't reply you a single word..peace out \m/

till then,

toodles readers!

After so long~

2010-08-27T11:34:00.002+08:00

Back here after so long, and it feels awkward coz I even wonder whether there will be even somebody who will read this humble space of mine, but i guess i juz need a space to rant whatever has been happening lately..

The most important thing here is that, you, don't have to apologise..coz apparently you arent at fault at all.. i should be ashamed, embarrassed that i even have that thought,
what right do i have to even feel that way?i wasnt mad at you, i was irritated by how i felt but;

I'm a young boy
You're a young girl
and if i fall, what's my crime?

A lot has been going through in my life lately, well life is a like the turning of a wheel, sometimes you're up and sometimes youre down but thank god that, it is definitely looking good and I don't want it to turn back, I don't want to be caught in those bad days anymore, hopefully..

Well i guess that's all to say for now, hopefully this wouldnt be a semangat doposen, sure to update this blog regularly.. hehe!

till then
toodles readers!

Weak & Empty

2009-11-17T22:23:00.003+08:00

Always there holding me with her heart..:)

Hey readers!
This blog has a title..Sound of the heart it is..
But today this heart makes a very high and soft sound
Slow and dozing off tempo it brings..

After the event, my heart got weaker and weaker by day..Not only you, but myself..Even I am disappointed with myself..I wondered what was wrong?Why is it so difficult for me to do a good job..

And I got my answer..An answer I don't have to share with everyone..It hurts enough..

And i feared you..My heart beats so fast that I weaken as I hear you talk..The moment you say something, thats e moment I would be so close to crumbling down..Or even juz the thought of you being there..WHY?
WHY did i become so scared of you?Juz why?

Mayb because deep inside I'm really no one..I'm nothing..
Many times I've been down..Many times I feel like giving up..
But thanks to HER i'm always fine and calm..
You know you are going to be fine..Like u have, I will always be there for you,what more when you are down like this..

Battle

2009-11-10T22:17:00.003+08:00

Ola readers..been a while isnt it?
I know..havent had the time, havent had the strength but somehow just today i feel like blogging..
Main Concern.
Suddenly i feel so lost?embarrassed?I don't know..Everyone was interested in it..Everyone loved it..but why when terrible efforts have been made to approve it people seem to have to think about it..People who were happy about it..people who were interested in it..

When I pleaded for it, I knew the road was going to be tough but I didnt expect the challenge to come now..as in come when it hasnt even started..I was ready to give my 110% or more to let you all gain e experience..but what i got were half-hearted response..

I truly understand e commitment level..people have school, people work, projects assignments and all..Don't I have them too?I too am doing what people are but because of passion I overrule these simple things..In fact I have two to do..but its for everybody's fun..

Coz you don't know whats the fun unless you sit and experience it yourself..

In any case its people's choices and I have no right to force but I really hope for a positive response..I hope

Secondary Concern
Well, this I don't know..some mths already and difficult to find a bestfren in a boyfren..well boyfren and bestfren are not the same..I know..I'm not that stupid..but which is more superior?I don't know the answer to this or people might say that isnt it obvious is that or that?
Different people have different opinions I believe..

In any case I'll let you decide..

When you couldn't face the truth after knowing everything
How do you expect me to say it?
What do I say?
That there's a very strong feeling but this heart itself is very weak

Back Free!

2009-10-24T19:20:00.003+08:00

Ola readers!

I guess its been a while since I've updated this space of mine..Well to some of you i guess you guys or girls would know that I've been busy preparing for Muzikaraya 2009 Jom Balik Kampung! a production from Sang Singa Purba which roared loudly and awesomely in SP's auditorium..

The preparation was really hectic that it left only sleeping time when I got home or when I wake up..10-10 or 10-11 or maybe longer for some it was..But the hardwork paid off..The audience laughed and had fun..Most importantly like what Aidil said, "We end this year's Raya beautifully"

And debrief is going to be on Monday and we all don't know what to expect..Details would be announced from Farhana..

Pictures would be at Facebook when it gets updated by Filzah(asap i hope)

OK Muzikaraya aside, now what comes through is a new semester for me..I don't know what to expect but I guess its gonna take another hardwork all the way..Lets just hope it gets more interesting(wish lah byk2)..6 modules to pull through..
Once i'm done with this year 3 i go to..I hope things are going to go fine for my life in DAC10 coz already the 1st week of school I'm getting the treatment from them..I've got a new group..and I don't know if its gonna work..I hope it will and I want them to feel that I can do it without them..I'm pretty sure I can..

And there's one more thing I wanna blog about but If i were too i guess I'll have to get ready..Already I was told to delete my blog..I feel so restricted..but nvm..

Till then toodles readers!

Test & Stress

2009-09-29T20:03:00.002+08:00

Test
Thousand of things seem to be going wrong, now..and I dont have the answers how or why it happen..
All i know i've been put to test by God again..And i don't know how this will end or what the outcome would be..
I was down with a throat infection, no one bothered coz no one really knew except for one who by surprise did not even asked how i was doing eventhough we saw each other and even had eye contact..
Am i suppose to be surprise that, that the person had forgotten or am I supposed to take it as if human are never perfect..we have our own off days?
Perhaps its sign of PMS but how come only that treatment happen to me and not to the rest?Again are human beings just never perfect?
That person can even show concern on a friend whom was injured asking not once but at least twice on how he was doing, a friend whom from me that person was hiding about..
Again these are just some of the things people would never know about thats why I'm always to blame here and there..
Is the reason still, human beings are never perfect?
I wonder..One thing for sure I'm just being test thats all..
And its my blog,its my say..

Stress!
Dikir Barat..It never take one person to start clapping but it takes a whole group of people..That is dikir barat..Its about unity..If i'm the only one who is trying and the rest are like taking it as if its just a fun thing well I cant just forget it coz people are giving chance for dikir to actually be involved in theatre..plus even if I want to forget it the Heads won't let it..Pressured and stressed to bring the best but everyone has got to chip in by first coming down..Messages have been sent, Calls have been made but at least there are one or two did come but what can be done in that kind of situation?Dikir Barat is a team effort..It has its fun side only if people make an effort..

Conclusion?
All lingers around God's greatness..Just hope for the best that everything will go fine even if the outcome doesnt turn out to be fine..Again afterall the blame is on me..

My blog my say..

Toodles readers!

Raya!

2009-09-21T21:32:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulilah
Kite ketemu Syawal sekali lagi..In the context of Raya this post would be in Malay Language..Heh!

Sebelum ape2..Saya, Muhammad Redhwan Bin Wahid ingin mengucapkan
SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!!!!!
kepada semue yang mengenali saya, saya menyusun 10 jari memohon maaf dengan setulusnya hati andai ade tersilap kata, terkasar bahasa, terkurang ajar dalam tutur kata ataupun kelakuan yang menyakiti hati sesiapa sesungguhnya tiada yang turun di bumi ciptaan nye sempurna..betul tk?heh!

Raya tahun nie macam kurang meriah entah kenape eh?Dua hari telah pun berlalu dan saya merasakan bahawa kemeriahannya tiada tandingan seperti dulu..Mungkin sebab da tue siket(duit collection pn da kurang)..Atau sebab keluarga yang ade tidak begitu rapat..

Saya tak tahu samaada anda dapat memerhatikan tapi saya merasakan bahawa kasih sayang di antara kita semua seakan berkurangan..Keluarga tidak begitu rapat..(k nk tukar English plk..kekok plk!)

Family seem to be lacking in the spirit..It seems like we have only used this time to just come, meet one another,apologize and eat..Well some people may ponder, Isnt that what its like?But sadly no..Even if we meet, talk and laugh together, the heart somehow feels that something is definitely lacking..I dont know if this is signs of the end but just think about it..Is your family as close as when you were young?
2 days of Syawal passed like as if it wasnt Syawal..I just wonder

In any case once again I'm taking the opportunity to apologize if what i've said or done has hurt anyone in anyway like what i said nobody's perfect..

So..
SELAMAT HARI RAYA!
EID MUBARAK!

(btw wanted to upload pics but lag..pics are in Facebook anw)

Great day!

2009-09-18T22:57:00.003+08:00

Together

The air i breathe

Great day!

Mama and Papa was on leave..Do not know for what reasons..Mama said there were errands to run but guess wad?Those errands were actually errand which was to find her Raya shoes..Not bad uh guess shoes 159..She was that happy when she got her shoes..

Then we went to Iluma..wanted to see what this new shopping centre had to offer..guess it was not yet able to be rated as it was not completely furnished on the inside..Nevertheless still got a shirt and a pair of jeans..

And one whole day message with Babylove..miss her so much..and was breaking fast at imm and then she said she might be going there too..How excited i was when i saw her coming towards Bagus Banquet..played eyes and smiles..then she came to Mama when we all wanted to leave and we talked for a while and that moment sucked because we were so near yet so far..how i wish i could just hug u at that very moment..

One great day spent with family..I love the time spent when everybody is in the happy mood..where we can laugh together..doing punches when we are siding with one another and going against each other..

Afterall they are family...the air I breathe..

Toodles readers!

Thankful

2009-09-17T21:12:00.002+08:00

Thankful.

Just this one word to say..Thankful that after what has happened she didnt say those words i would not want to hear..Afterall it would be both regrets if we were to break up..I dun noe perhaps we are just to comfortable with each other already..

However, she did had an intention for a breakup..Well, not quite surprise because from the earlier message sent it was pretty obvious what the intention was..
So when someone already had the intention for a break up i guess its pretty obvious what is happening..
Somehow i don't fell quite good and I'm not ready, definitely ready..

I just hope everything between us just get better..In actual fact we are definitely fine,in fact very fine on our own..But just some busybody that cause us to fight or argue every night..

But no matter what..I love Iffa very much!

Toodle readers!

Hope

2009-09-16T20:04:00.003+08:00

Hey readers!

1st Hope
Just enrol at BBDC just now around 11 plus for Private Manual..Hope everything goes fine and well..(wishes to pass as soon as possible)..cant wait to drive..heh!& BTT is on the 7 of Oct

2nd and a much major hope
I really hope nothing goes wrong..She sent a message saying a lot of things have happen and she wants to talk later late at night..I don't want things to go because this has been something i cherish and something that has picked me up, got me stronger than before eventhough we may have quarrel and arguments as a lot as possible but deep inside me, just like you, you've become a part of me..I really hope everything stays fine..But in any case if it proves otherwise, I can only say be Happy because when you are happy i would try my very best to be happy too..

So.....
wait for the next post to find out readers..I hope i'll update in a positive note!

So HOPE!

Stay strong!

2009-09-16T00:01:00.003+08:00

Firstly..
I'm truly sorry for not updating this blog since God knows when, but here I am letting out what I've been feeling and what I've been keeping all this while..Afterall this is my blog isnt it?

Love?
People say love is about letting go..No this hasn't got anything to do with Iffa..Letting go means letting go when doing so will make the party happy but when you are in love, letting go is hurtful..For example, when you quarrel and then arguments start to fall in, when you learn to forgive as soon as possible that is call letting go in a relationship..Furthermore I love Iffa and thanks Love for the skin because i wanted to run away from that emoskin blog as i believe those days were history

But this letting go has got to do with passion

Passion?
I guess its pretty obvious my passion for performing arts is just WOW!I love the way how certain things can convince people and how certain things receive applause..even cheating requires the skill of performing an art..Sacrifices after sacrifices..Hurt after hurt..Nothing ever stops me BUT
this time round, i'm just too weak..
It started with sacrificing a spot for Mega Perdana squad(a Interclub Dikir Competition In S'pore)..gave up dikir for Drama
Then somehow nothing happen and came back leading them..Thankful that went ok..
Then running everything because why?because wanting it to look good but in the end efforts were just criticised and worst still it was linked to Swine, comparing our ego..

BUT I NEVER WANTED TO BE LIKE THAT OR NEVER WOULD BE THAT

and i lost something, but that's OK cause i learn how to live with what i have and make the best of what people believe you can..I stayed strong

Now this had to happen..Why say something when in the end you never mean it?We would be prioritise but 75% were sacrificed not 50% and just because I don't appear like one i didnt get it?It was a platform i looked up too to break through but it went crashing down..
Just where did it went wrong?

I'm trying to stay strong and still hanging there because I still have jobs to do, but I'm getting weaker day by day..
Everyone has their limit..

Moral of the story
Those kind people are not those that would be taken advantage of(that's a negative thought) but those kind people are those that are further test by God to make you stronger like how Nizal phone got lost while serving justice..And i truly hope instead of getting weaker, God give me the strength to stay strong..To do what i've to do..
And like laskar pelangi..Dreams are keys to conquer the world..Group of poor boys studying in a run down school..What kept them strong were their dreams of becoming somebody and not to be what people has always stereotyped them to be which were to be coolies and they stayed strong
AND I HOPE GOD GIVES ME THE STRENGTH TO STAY STRONG(thus the post title)

Lastly toodle readers!

Can i?

2009-07-08T14:11:00.003+08:00

Well currently in DLA studio with babylove and her frens..felt the need to juz update this blog coz of sumtin quite major that happened to me which actually seem to affect people around me..Rindu Wan-k?Ok2 ah tk sgt..Tapi mungkin rindu Wan-k MLS(aka Boi Sawan)..

Somehow i don't know how much i've changed but if it has let tears cum down my love's cheeks then it is one hell of a change..i'm trying very much to be myself again..i'm doing it OK?

And to Babylove i love you so much and i've always needed you and whatever happened to me that has affected you that much i'm realie sorry for everything..I'm really sorry..don't give it up on me..

Ku Tahu Hatimu Terluka

(Mine)
Pulang sayang, pulang padaku
Aku rindu kasih sayangmu
Hinggaku menyedari, betapa setia cintamu padaku

(Hers)
Ku masih mengingati dirimu sayang
Tapi hatiku terlalu sedih
Terlalu hancur di dasar hati ini

(Mine)
Ku berjanji pada dirimu
Takkan ku mengulanginya
Kini aku menyedari, betapa setia cintamu padaku

(Hers)
Mengapa setidak dari dulu kau menghargai cintaku,
Mengapa kau tergamak melukakan hatiku
Mengapa sayang?

Ku tahu hatimu sedang terluka
Dan aku merasa bersalah
Namun berikan kesempatan
Untuk menyambung percintaan
Sambil merawat luka hatimu
Yang telah aku tinggalkan dulu
Semoga terubat lukamu
Semoga terubat lukamu

Just don't give up on me ok?Pls dun fade away the love for me ok?At this moment i need u the most..

I LOVE YOU IFFA HAZIQAH!

So long ah?

2009-07-03T12:08:00.002+08:00

Well..I agree like many people that this blog has not been updated for quite some time..Its not that i'm abandoning this birdsferlife but i've been rather busy with MST this whole week and the rest of time just plain laziness..SO here I am updating my blog(like finally)

Life has been pretty normal i guess..after the completing the milestone of joining Anugerah 2009, nothing much has really happen and jus living day by day..
Before i actually continue about life, MST was alright i guess..I kinda expect what has happened and what is going to happen..HAHA..paham2 je lah ye!

Life..I've seen to many come and go in this young age..In life we know it is like a roller coaster but why does it seems that when we actually reach the lowest or the highest we tend to forget what we always qoute..Is emotion really the kill in life?or is it the fun in life?Because in life we are all advisors and all victims because either we give or we receive advise from people..We can tell people its ok lah..things like these happen for a reason but how come when it come to our own we kind of forget what we say to people and turn a dear ear to all those advises cuming?

I know i've been that stubborn, never tried to listen to people..I agree that perhaps because as a perfectionist I never let others have a chance to learn or do it..In other words everything also Wan-k wanna do..Well its not that i don't wanna let people learn or do but i'm bad at delegating things..It doesnt seem nice to tell people to do this and that,so perhaps like wad IDA said favour ah,heheh!

It bears happiness and sadness
Still it remains silent
No one has yet learned
What life is saying

Sometimes like your own, Sometimes like strangers
Sometimes like tears, Sometimes like laughters
Sometimes like river, Sometimes like thirst is how it seems

It is the soft sound of silence
This life is a blessing
No one has touch or seen it
It is the fragrance of experience, a scented wind

Speak to your heart, listen to your heart
Choose a soulmate from a heart
The world may say anything, let go of the world's thought
Adorning them on your beauty, foster sparkling dreams

So basically no one knows what life is..Just sent here by God and learn through experience, that's why never reprimand or hate someone for doing something bad because all of us HUMAN BEINGS are learning through experience and the thing is listen to the heart, ask what it wants and you'll get a beautiful life..That's what all of us should learn

Till here!we meet again.dun noe soon or not but
A house is not a home when...
Lu pikir lah sendiri..haha

Chaoz!

The journey ends here

2009-05-10T21:42:00.003+08:00

Ola readers..as some of you know i went to fight it out to get a place fer the 3rd round auditions..but sorry to everyone bcoz i din make it through..a part of me was a lil sad but i know i had fun and taking along with me sum experience from joining Anugerah 2009..and i also know i'm braved enough to go and perform as i'm a good performer..i noe that!sorry if i did disappoint any parties..

And AidilAkmal and Isa Abdillah din make it too..Our journey ends here!but we know we are great!

Anugerah Fever!

2009-05-03T18:26:00.005+08:00

Wah photoshoot!
Laugh at people ah?

Paste sticker!

Couple pic 1

Couple pic 2

Ola readers!!!!Finally updating again..As some of you know I went for the auditions fOr Anugerah(a Suria Organized singing competition finding new talent)..

So sat 2 May was spent registering for the competition itself because I was contestant number 604 so had to audition on Sunday instead..Saturday was fun as it was together with bestmate and his girlfren and of coz my LOVE!!!..after registering we were out for late lunch at Changi Airport and then lepak-ed(sit2 do nothing) at Taman Jurong before sending my babe to her aunt's place which was at NTI..

Sunday 3 may marked the history of my life as i braved myself to go for Anugerah Auditions and i was god damn nervous while waiting and it got better while i was on stage..Thank GOD!

AND I MADE IT TO THE 2ND ROUND OF AUDITIONS!!

so this means more hardwork for the week to cum!hope a positive result yeah!

FOr those who wanna cum down and support can do so by going tO East Point Mall at 11 on 9 May to cheer me on!i'll appreciate that!

HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE(wah like make concert like that)

tata readers!

Lastly the audition video for you to enjoy!

Geared up!

2009-04-19T14:52:00.009+08:00

Cutely me!

BAND OF BROTHERS!

19th April marks the end of holiday season cum mood and a period where enjoyment was the only thing in mind..

So beginning tml will mark 2nd year in Poly life which seems to be happening reallie fast..but i'm all geared up and ready..in fact i cant wait to meet my frens, my new lecturers and of coz the freshies..but i aint gonna blog much abt wad has yet to happen..let me juz begin with my hols; how i enjoyed it

Holidays these time round as i mentioned was bz with CCA..i'm juz gonna highlight certain stuffs..

Preparation fer Nusa Kedondong thought me a lot of stuffs..and the feedback i received or rather the criticisms proved a lot of weakness i have as a young director..and i realised i have a lot to learn and a high ladder to climb..nonetheless the audience felt it was reallie a good performance and i'm reallie happy..

MLS camp gave me more confidence when people started trusting in me more..when people believe i can i give a 110% to wad you ask for..made a lot of new frens or rather increase the number of juniors i have and never Once did it ever crossed my mind that being a faci is never easy as it seem..and i realised i was damn tired in the camp..esp when statiOned fer Nightwalk..dutied halfway through and i slept like a log, didnt even bother who came..wad was fun was Greenstaz emerged first runner up!little did i expect..Congratulations tO all!and the other fun factor was performance by KedondOngs!great job i muz say

Greenstaz Finale

Group PhotoWith lions!

KedondOngS!
Greenstaz discussing!shh!

And then Sentosa Outing with Kedondongs..Great outing session..it truly bonded us together..and to Kedondongs who din turn up sadly u missed a lot of fun!bt its alrite..i'm sure there's mOre to cum..It was great bcoz in the midst of fun we decided to confessed to each other..and as much as i expect it seems like they were bombarding bt its alrite..everyone has their own rite to say their feelings in this confession thigy..and i learned about each other's strengths and weaknesses and who cares if we dislike each other's confessions coz it only bonded us closer!haha

Kallang Roar movie screening fer the Lions!how nice..great movie and the ending was nice...the action was a bit minimal though..i would have liked to see more on the pitch..nice movie anyway as it is very inspiring for new talent and what is lacking in today's football(Singapore)..lack of passion for the country..playing only for fame and money..boring!haha

Roar Lions Roar!

Majulah!

Lastly I love my baby very much!

Collage by her!

Finally

2009-04-11T23:11:00.003+08:00

So cute!
Smile!

CIna malap!

YEllow together!

snap!

I just have to blog this..Uber happy that she is finally mine..Alhamdulilah(all praises tO God)..i won't want to say much but i'll be the best for you..

I won't promise anything but like i'll be the best sO i give the best in everything i do for you and we do together..

I LOVE YOU IFFA HAZIQAH!

so saper2 yg tao..harap2 kasi sokongan ye!

11 April 09

and wanna talk to her rite nw..so cya!more updates cuming soon!

Just how?

2009-03-20T23:55:00.004+08:00

nerd!
Seven!

Brotherhood begins!NKN
Mcm step jek!

Fuyoh!rebond seh!

baek!

Just sOme random photos of me..

btw its just gonna be another random post,sorie coz it might be emo(MIGHT BE JE LAH),so right now i'm super stressed up..ferstly i guess that common problem of having that feeling of being lonely,i dun noe why i seem to be afraid or i would cry whenever i think i'm facing the world alone but thankfully sometimes(just sometimes je lah), there would be kind souls sent from heaven to make my day and like today itself thanks ayu and syafiq!i appreciate it lots..and u guy and a gerl(cannot guys cOz one is a guy the other is a girl),and with you people(sng siket pakai people), i couldnt even show my sadness..SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!haha

Secondly i'm stress with CCA, why?

ferstly(ala pn nk kena ade part2 ke?),i personally think u people are making little effort(saper terasa 2 korg nye psl eh,aku nye blog aku nye suke ah)haha!coz wad u people go through under me, mcm rilek..not boasting but if i dun seem to move you people wont move..you people say you are tired,dun let body get over mind k?u have to put more effort if u people want it to be successful.2ndly i dun feel like doing it(no relation to the 1st part above)..dun noe perhaps aiyah dun noe lah..

Lastly NANG KEPONG NANG!

not because i dun like them..i'm beginning to love them..we seem to be building our bonds together and we dun even care how they treat us coz we know we can do better den them..and i truly apologise to the squad coz of me u guys have to do it again and again..not that i'm nt putting effort but i'm trying my best to break it..why give me a nice voice but nt high one?pros and cons..but i'm pretty sure i can do it coz i've gone higher from last time and i will go even higher because arts is where my passion lies..NANG KEPONG NANG BOLEH MENANG!ape2 BAGUS!

k bye chaoz!

love u all readers!

Yeah!

2009-02-22T01:08:00.002+08:00

Outside my room!

Ola readers!

Its been a while isn't it..sorrie but relatively have been very busy with projects and exams and guess wad there are dOne with..YAYNESS!I smell freedom and more of on-bed timing..Firstly exams are over..means nO mOre econs, stats mob and wadeva shit hopefully..(paper was doable anyway!)haha..

Despite having done with major stuffs..more major stuffs are cuming which is Durba's Dikir Barat Comp..a lot of things happen during the preparation fer it..got fucked up,scolded but nvm didnt get to play, i'll take everything as a learning journey..(saper berani ckp aku tk bagos?sini uh!chey mcm paham!)i'm new and i'm nt afraid to learn and fall at the same time..

Besides that audition for Muzikaram 09..nervous+effingly interested=i'm so gonna go for it..hopefully there's a good result to it..also related to ssp would be script writting and training for freshies 2hr interaction time during their MLS camp..hopefull everything gOes fine!

Lastly,i've enden my a 1st year in SP..everything went smOOthly(alhamdulilah) of coz there were ups and downs but life's too short to dwell on wads wrong rite?so don't bother..just take everything as a learning journey!..

And to everybody out there who is still taking their exams and future exams ALL THE BEST KAY?everyone of you can dO it!!

FInally, I LOVE YOU ALL

MUACKS!!

Better today!

2009-02-01T21:51:00.002+08:00

No mOre!

Perhaps i guess everything is over..not because i already have someone..coz apparently the phobia and fear are not gone yet..bt bcoz being the sad one hurts inside and it hurt others..so why not cheer up and be a happier person..And thanks Afizah!thanks fer the song..it certainly made my day and it cheered me up and u reminded me to be better today.. THANK YOU!

Whoa oh, whoa oh.

Whoa oh, oh.

You see it all in my smile.

You hear it all in my laugh.

The way I walk, you hear me talk.

And know I'm no longer sad.

I got no reason to smile more now than I've ever had.

I open up my eyes and realize that nothing's quite that bad.

I've got a different approach to dealing with emotion.

Keeping control of my boat, while drifting on this ocean.

Keeping my head to the sky, keeping tears out of my eyes.

Unless happiness be the reason that I decide to cry.

And life's too short to dwell on all that's wrong.

Stand up now, stand up now and I promise not before long.

You'll be feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

So much better.

You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

Much better today. You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

So much better.

You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

You'll be so much better.

I know about down and out.

I know about when it gets tough.

Losing my fight, can't see the light.

And you just wanna give up.

I know about being depressed.

By needing someone to love.

I also know by standing up and saying enough is enough.

Oh, I've got a different approach to dealing with emotion.

Keeping control of my boat, while drifting on this ocean.

Keeping my head to the sky, keeping tears out of my eyes.

Unless happiness be the reason I decide to cry.

And life's too short to dwell on all that's wrong.

Stand up now, stand up now and I promise not before long.

You'll be feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

So much better.

You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

Much better today

You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

So much better.

You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

You'll be so much better.

(Ohh whoa. Oh whoa, whoa) (Oooh)

I feel like if I try, I could fly away right now.

All because I've finally found my smile. (x2)

And you'll be feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

So much better.

You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

Much better today.

You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

So much better.

You're feeling better today.

Much better today, much better today.

You'll be so much better.

Bye!

2009-01-24T22:36:00.002+08:00

Hey readers!I will be away on holidays for the CNY holidays..dun miss me too much kay?(mcm lah ade org nk rindu aku..)and how i reallie hope u noe wads in my mind,hw i hope u read it..and i how i reallie wish for you to know that i still love you right to this moment but i've understood the separation..

Perpisahan

Ku mengerti

Perpisahan Ini

Bukan kerana kau membenci

Tapi kasih yang pernah ku beri

Tiada lagi bersama

Seringkala aku

Terlihat kan mu

Impian nan indah

Bersulam bahagia

Ku harungi hari demi hari

Bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali

Tapi hati masih tak terima

Ditinggalkan sengsara

Chorus:

Keraguan ini

Bukan lah padamu

Perasaan hati masih rindu

Kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku

Tercari-cari bayanganmu

Tak sanggup aku

Kehilanganmu

Masih tercari-cari

Toodles readers!chaoZ!

Just how?

2009-01-16T08:55:00.004+08:00

Fresh morning!

Waiting for sum1 to fix the box to the bike

Everytime it just had to happen..and everytime i feel stupid and battered about it..and also i always fail to learn from it..it sucks being like that..but how?

werking with me is gonna be tough..why?because i want the best fer myself and the best fer everyone..so it will turn out nice and everybody can appreciate it..if its too simple it will show that we are juz normal performers and we are damn amateurs..but its ok..

my ideas are too complicated?

is it because of the reason i want the best that i have this problem..if its so i juz hav to tone down a lil on it..just y?
2009 has had its own blessings and blows to me..and i juz had to thank god that i still have the chance to live after those scare..so scary..

bottomline is i got to learn how to work with people well rather than be a solo or a superhero all the time!yayness..problem solved!

and exams are coming on the last week of feb which means i might not be able to play fer durba comp..haiis..how sad is that..its gonna be our season..c'mon please let me play..let me understand my modules god..thank you!hehe..

till here..
chaoz!
toodles readers!luv u all!

2008, 2009 Any difference?

2009-01-04T21:40:00.005+08:00

I guess i might be the last to post about new year and wad has happened in the previous year..but before i blabber about that i'd like to say Hello peeps!!its been a while! and of course

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2008?

One hell of a roller coaster ride..up and down you go..wait not so much on up but rather down i guess?

Great things beginning of the year!good results..good course..hmm?let's see about that..Diploma in Accountancy..everybody goes WOW!!!! and i go ok lah..more to come..only god knows what i feel like doing about school but its ok..hard now easy later on education..oh well!and then left sum1 for a dream girl and she did just the same to me..AHHH!!padan muke aku! that happen and who would expect a series of bad things coming back to life..however i accepted it like i had too because i've been doing that to girls the previous previous years..now i feel what they feel..karma..but i never thought it to happen to me.. like

MY MOMMA TOLD ME, NO MATTER WHO YOU DO COZ KARMA COMES BACK AROUND,BUT I WAS SO SURE IT WONT HAPPEN TO ME COZ I NOE HOW TO PUT IT DOWN BUT I WAS SO WRONG!

TAO TKPE!

so yah..saket giler..and it bumped on my head to change fer the better so i did, but after years of hurting people who would dare to believe MUHAMMAD REDHWAN the playboy changed fer the better?so people keep coming in and say u change?wait long2..so for what change?

so thats why i've been EMO! ..but never mind lah..2008 mah..past already

nOw 2009!

5 days into it..any better?haiis no i guess..but nevermind lah..be patient juz fer days stil 360 days to go!and the good thing about this year is that i'm gonna turn 18!k lamer lagi aku tao!

sO talking about countdown party!k lamer seh 2..haha

ok2 lah..had fun with family!of coz lah dgn family,family man lah katekan..nk g countdown mcm maner klu ade curfew pukul 1030..go out den 1030 reach hme..ape yg countdown!haha..klakar lah wan nie!k lame..so yah..sum hot and cute pics of me above mls nk drag g bawa..so what as long that's a way to make myself happy!ok wad!tk kacau org pe!

toodles reader!

till we meet next time

god noes wen!

Why?

2008-12-02T23:19:00.006+08:00

Ola readers!its been a while seriously yeah!

Sunday

was prom nite!nt fer me but for them..sO went back because John invited us to perform and so we did..at first solo performance but thinking abt it lets make an acoustic band..so established Damn Burger which consist of Amiril(patty),Andi(tall and lanky vegetables), Azri(thin and fit pickles), Raffian(Fluffy bun), Wan(Nice but can be disgusting at times cheese)..so yeah..wun say so much let the photos(grabbed from Raffian'a blog do the talking)Damn Burger

'On holidayBirdLean Back

Aggresive

Andi the vegetable

Side profile

The Cheese

and then today was spent studying itab with mirah and sharifah..too lazy to update all pictures so i'll take 1 nice one!

WanIpahMirah

Juz what is wrong?

2008-11-25T21:41:00.004+08:00

McDonald's Model
McDonalds model 2

Lacoste Model

Lacoste Model 2

The pics were taken during stats boring class not to the fact i wasnt paying attention but i rather focussed on my own revision..so friday was a long day as per normal..kinda boring..so yah aft class was spent rehearsing on Ideas project..i reallie hope for the best for this at least because i personally feel its gonna be sumting different from what the rest are doing and we are working on our best to give this shot a great one and earn as many marks as possible coz it's juz stupid if u were to repeat a module like that..

Saturday

Day of tragedy i guess?haha..coz actual plan was to rehearse again but since the presentation was postponed to a week later so we had more time to prepare so there's no need to actually rush things..plus i think most of the things are going fine..so back to it..den i planned to study out because i dun noe why cannot study at hme so yah..so asked best mates but she dun feel like it so nvm den..and then asked her fren to cum along but dun noe y fer the ferst time i hear she was so reluctant to go bt nemind..study and chill fer ice cream?i juz noe..den asked atiqa along to study,ferst she agreed and then she realised she had sumtin on so yah nvm lah..understand, understood..den it juz killed my mood to study and then asked Swalihin, Waz and Naz whether want to hit Geylang..at ferst agreed but Sol juz had sumtin on last min and Waz was uncontactable and it killed Naz and my mood to go out..bt eventually we met and then we chilled so i asked a fren to cum along..and then we met and she got bored aft a while so we lepak-ed at our common place till about 11 before sending her back..bt i juz din like that day..

Sunday was show again, Din got married and Fadly juz was so awesome..naseb baek sampai pitch dier..tap muka biru ah..haha..bt i got a terrible splitting headache aft that bt wad to do juz sleep my way through and wake up had dinner and joined the guys fer takraw juz fer a while..and i got tired and sleep again..

Monday was school and rehearsal again..we are doing great guys..we juz hav to mesmerize the audience..no worries..we can do it!

Lastly, these few days juz doesnt feel rite...i noe sumtin is missing..and i need to find the missing piece and i think i noe the piece, i mean the closer i get to it the suckier it feels..and it was juz a bad day..i heard so many ppl..and i juz lost the smiling part again..i juz fail to carry on again..I'm truly sorie to all whom i've hurt most significantly to Ivy Lu for scandalizing you and more..i juz noe i was wrong..i din noe jokes could be interpreted in the wrong way..juz take ur time to fergive me..its ok..i feel its time lah..i juz feel it is..i'm so afraid..but wad to do this is life..the one who lives have to die one day..so we shall see..

till here..toodles readers!sorie fer the emo post..chaoZ!

Sorie

2008-11-11T15:35:00.004+08:00

With my adik kandung!!
Karaoke-ing

E Pengantin

Modelling werks!

Hey sorie readers!hav been abandoning my blog for a while..there's ntg so spectacular to blog about so i guess ntg..but juz a random post i guess..hehe

last few weeks have been bz..preparing fer Mega Perdana(national dikir barat competition) and its normal to see them win coz it has always been them(u noe i noe lah)not say they deserve to win their performance was ok2 lah..not spectacular..and Elfee & Isa juz deserve it lah..haha..

And congrats to Kak Mamai on her wedding too..fun get to karaoke and stuff..lots of catching up with cuzzins and all the aunties..

And then there was soccer tournament which left me injured but still forced to pla as there's no back up keeper!wad to do..injured also muz play sian ah..not in e mood and result in huge defeat..its ok..still one match more to play and we could finish second..we juz have to believe..be more aggresive guys!

And life has been more interesting!i mean they juz cum in a bunch bt den the one that i hav always wish to cum juz never did..and i'm looking for u..u noe i am.i've sent u a mxg..and meeting u was damn coool even fer a while..and ur smile and ur wave captivated me so much dat i kept thinking about it..

HAPPY??perhaps

2008-10-24T08:56:00.003+08:00

Taken in class..sO cute!hehe
Currently in class but when lesson starts to get mundane it seems pointless to actually pay attention..

so updating about the last few days..

ntg so significant..but glad to be able to hav finished on my Rakan Muda project fer deeparaya..but we all know what happen during the show..cockups here and there..wadeva!..haha..

And y'dae was fun..aft the show lepak a while at Teh Tarik and then went to play bowling with frens and penat2 aku leading at last aku da mendak..haha..cool kape?den wait fer bus but the bus didnt arrive for almost an hour..while talking to Naz abt sumbody and singing a song with her name, coincidentally she appeare at e opposite end..power ah WAN!so Naz went to meet her then aft that we walked to the other bus stop and we saw the bus and we ran like hell..and it has been a while i ran like that..and due to that i reached hme and slept till abt 830..woke up and catch I Survive A Japanese Gameshow.very funny but when Americans get into that kind of show..politics here and there.boring!..haha

den went to bed and waited fer a while before sumbody called and we talk till abt 11 and i slept like a log again..penat giler lah seh..haha..sum more the weather very nice to sleep lah..

and i overslept this morning and woke up at 730..lucky fer me i live near school..i still manage to reach at 814 when lesson haven't even started..

waiting to meet bestfren Sharifah later, so many things to talk about..hope she can help..

juz like wad yum said..wen they are not there,they are juz not there..but when they are there, they cum in a bundle..lady luck..please help me make e right choice..pretty please..haha..

OK off my ass to school again!

chaoz!readers..

bye2!

BZ!

2008-10-19T12:59:00.004+08:00

Sorrie fer not updating quite a while again..school has started..am pretty geared up for the 2nd semester as the 1st semester created a culture shock as it was a total new experience and a total new thing compared to Sec school life..a week has been pretty fine..gives me an interest to study coz i passed all my modules..yayness!..pretty new cool modules..

So free afternoon were spent going back to Fuhua for dikir trainings..guiding newbies to be the best they can bcoz they hav the potential but if they dun want to put in effort then i can only say wasted talents in Fuhua..its difficult for them when they are compared to 06-07 batch as this batch was the best..ni squad power giler!maner ade org bleh challenge Swalihin?nk challenge Andi?susah..nk kena keje keras..haha

So y'dae was show at Gek Poh CC..great show lah..sum ppl wave and ppl smiled..partnership of me and Syafiq as Karut mcm power gitu eh?haha..Alhamdulilah..and Man Toyak live voice is like WOW!power ah bro..great voice i muz say!haha..there was also Nurun with her powerful voice..but no pic with her.only with Man Toyak..so that's all..not much to blog though..no interesting topic yet!

Raya with Sec frens

2008-10-08T11:05:00.012+08:00

Nazri Atiqa
Close up
Last shot fer the day

Fun shot!!
AtiqaFadhil
Gang-Bus
Dhil & Gerls
Wah blue couple ah seh

With Nazri
With Atiqa again
Nmpk kakak tk?seram eh!asik ikot kite aje..hehe
Gang-bus
Candid

With Ain
Gila-Gila Raya
Sweet Couple!
With Imran
Rilek Aje

FadhilMiril
With Fizah
Out of caption
With Afiqah
With Aqidah

Wirh Ainni
With Atiqa
With Quraishiah
With Ella
4 Babes!

Babes of the day!
Me & the Hot babes!
Hunks
Together
Crazy shot!
Raya-ing with Sec School frens..it wasn't as great as anyone would have expected it i guess..not prolly because the kaki wasn't great..perhaps it was because everyone has grown up and we were not as close as we used too..maklum lah..da lamer tk nmpk muke satu2..plus mayb also there were sum showing off going on so yah..that made the outing less gerek ah..in every travelling and every house there will be two clans..called the Gang-Bus(sound so wrong lah Atiqa) and the Vehicle Gang!..haha..actually dun wanna say so much lah..haha..so here are the pics enjoy!sorrie fer the delay guys have been reallie bz..

And y'dae was like a dream come true again..she answered my call..i was like over the sun ah..so hot also nvm..thank you so much..hw i wish it would be u..haiis..but looks like i hav a lot of prooving job to do and it is not at all fun!.haha.haiyo!bt reallie lah..if only lah kan..now living if only lah kan..u noe u've got the special power that mesmerized me.haha..and that is unique..
and ur uniqueness begins with ur name..damn unique spelling lah seh..tk pernah come across tau?hehehehe..sound so cute..juz like the person itself..hehehehe..

happy giler lah seh..in other werds..SO GAY!hehe

so toodles readers..one werd to decide y'dae?

ESTATIC!!

RAYA..not so nice..

2008-10-03T23:47:00.006+08:00

Ola readers!celebrating raya has been a tradition all our life..but this year wah..cannot feel it..i woke up and the ferst thing i asked myself..todae raye ah?haha..so here are the pics of the ferst day of raya!

Make-up artist
Wah..sachok ah botak!
Nice model-ic shOt!very artistic
Funny
Last grp shOt of the day

Nice family pic 2
My personal bodyguard..nk sentuh gua kapa?ni tembus dulu
Very2 nice..i look so tall
We grew up together
Nice shot by the stairs!

Nice family pic!
With nenek
Uncle-shot rilek!
Ini ape jadi dah?
Male cuzzins!

Home pt 1
Home pt 2
Si yg tga minta maaf yg kat bawah 2 Anak Bapak Ala sweet nye..si yg baju putih ni Mummy's boy
Corner Of the hse!

So yah..as you all know i only celebrate it On the ferst day..coz the rest of the weekdays are werking days..and i'm in no mood to raya..dun noe y but that's the case..so yah woke up on the 1st of Syawal at 9 in the morning..which means i miss my Raya prayers..oops..hehe..got ready(got handsome ah) then wait fer my mum to finish then off we go to my grandma's hse(paternal) and that's where i felt as if even your own felt like strangers..dun noe y but why does it seem that i dun have any bonds with them..hello!i'm part of the family even tho my status is adopted not blood related..so but nvm..so then off to maternal side..where all the family bonds are there..nice warm raya..bt still cannot feel it..wad to do!haha..so yah raya here and there all maternal side then reach home at abt 12 aft sending everybody hme..had my shower and lala land!But halfway tru we had to send my 2nd brudder to Pasir Ris interchange because he is serving his NS..wah so sad ah..i wonder how's my time gonna be like..aiyo!haha..when he is nt at home den i realise hw much i need him..because he bring laughter to me in the wee hours at 1 and 2..that's when we share everything and that's when we play together(play game lah) like we used to when we were kids but nemind..aft NS conferm wun be the same again..all are memories..so yah that's all..tml is another raya session with paternal side which means u noe i noe!btw chatted with fiza and asked her y i got no mood to raya and she say kurang amalan..and gerl that is so true..time to buck up Wan!haha..start to buat amalan ok?Insyallah.AMIN!

so toodles readers!luv ya

chaoz!

Selamat Hari Raya!

2008-10-01T10:02:00.002+08:00

Side sHOT!
Hey smue..Salamz, Salam Lebaran!

OK..sempena hari dan bulan yang begitu mulia..Wan ingin mengambil kesempatan ini untuk memohon maaf seandainya ada terkasar atau terlembut bahasa, tersentuh atau tersinggung perasaan haraf maafkan ya?Dan pada yang da makan ke minum sesama harap halalkan segalanya okie?'

Coolest sms ever: Kami dari carlsberg ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya..Berayalah bersama Carslberg probably the best beer in the world!

Creative kan??haha!

SMS kurang ajar tapi tetap nk kena maafkan: gua tahu gua byk dosa ngn krg.mulut laser gua yg tk bayar insurance 18 tahun mesti ada sakitkn hati krg.so i'll like 2 wish all of u a happy raya.maafkan gua sua! (da sah matrep) tap Creative kan?haha!

k la chaoz smue!

nK beraya nie..WAH ! Collection time!yayness!

I give up!

2008-09-26T14:24:00.004+08:00

I've given up..y?i dun even noe y..bt a feeling in my heart tells me that i can't take this bullshit anymore..i dun wanna take this bullshit anymore..i dun wanna sit back and say that its alright..i'm OK when i'm actually not..

Firstly, u r nt watching it because you dun want to see me anymore i guess..and thanks fer directly saying it cause now i noe..you dun juz hate me..u hate me to the core..and it hurt me rite in the afternoon juz aft my shower..cool shit..

Secondly, our voice quality is not nice?wow!we record it for like juz 2o mins while the other grp took a longer time..bt its Ok..perhaps i'm juz lucky that zad has a wonderful voice and i don't..yeah..zad's voice is better den mine..and harmonising part was not harmonise?reallie?i thought it did..thanks fer the honest comment..i'll work with zad again then..some people say it is nice and some people say its not..point taken:you juz can't please everybody wan..face the facts\

so if your voice is not nice y u want to make more songs?plus y r gonna prepare sumtin reallie grand?are u out to waste ur time redhwan?think lah boy..u noe wad?stop singing..perhaps that's the best thing

Lastly..you told me to change..perhaps be a more positive person..and when i wanted too..u said it was weird..there's sumtin wrong with me..worst still u thought i had an agenda..what?to beat the hell out of that guy?ohh please lah..is it even wrong to make frens?i juz dun understand..that u felt as if i got a problem..yes i do..i have a big one!u wanted to help..ok..so shall i ask u now that u have an agenda instead?so point take:when redhwan wants to do a good deed people will feel as if u have an agenda..wah!greatness..so do bad deed then..

Why i never share with people..because i've not found sum1 that has reallie sit down and listen..den keep asking are u alright..the next moment they see that i'm smiling and making jokes they think i'm ok..but hav people ever come acrossed and say to me i see a fake smile?because nobody notice..and the only thing that felt like bearshare right now is my blog...the sound of my heart..only my blog can feel!

so sorrie fer the negative post once again..i juz feel like it..its alright..i'll get over it i guess..3 points taken today

1)She despise you real bad

2)I can't please everybody

3)People never feel right when i'm doing a good deed

so toodles readers!

chaoz!

Over the moon!

2008-09-23T12:38:00.004+08:00

Stand up!
Sit down..ni mummy gua!haha
QRZ!

Wah..so hot ah!haha
Cempedak Goreng manje shot!
Us with our make-up artiste
final shot together
WanTeera,QayyumIzzah

hey readers..sorrie fer nt updating!have been busy as always but right now its over..

the shoot for rara bazaar has ended..like finally..its reallie tiring..here and there onlie god knows!haha..u wanna noe the results?haha..watch urself every tues aite at 1030 only on Suria!..

Although the challenge has ended u can still do ur part in helping Cempedak Goreng to win our MTV challenge..catch rara bazaar today and instructions will be aired between shows..so do watch Suria aite!Go Cempedak Goreng!haha

And right now..i'm over the moon..it was a total dream come true..i've been waiting fer her arnd 2 years?and it seems that there was no way we could ever get together..but recently everything took a change..her brother as allowed me to but he juz warned me not to anyhow with his sister..so yah!go ahead and y'dae was the ferst time we ever met and damn only god knows how happy i was with her..the bus rides, the train rides juz got faster believe me Or not..it reallie did..and i dun want it to end here..and then she told me sumtin..if u wanna wait fer me it will take a long time coz i'm getting over sumbody..i said Ok..i dun mind waiting in fact i've been waiting fer 2 years..so it went on and allighted at the same bus-stop as her and off to home and then we mxg2 fer a while and off to bed fer both of us..but the thing was i couldn't even sleep..perhaps because everything is still fresh in the head and yah it went on..and i keep thinking abt everything abt y'dae..over the moon very difficult to sleep huh?haha..kla till here..

toodles readers!

chaoz!

WOW!

2008-09-17T22:40:00.005+08:00

So sweet!
Redhwan Muhammad & Qayyum Omar
Jamal Abdillah & Elfee R Ismail

Mcm P!
Model with attitude!lawa kan

Playing the keyboard!
Redhwan Muhammad & Zack Izzad
Saleem & Jamal Abdillah wanabe
Too skinny(no more too-phat)
nice shot!

sorie fer nt updating fer quite a while..i have been very busy with shoots and recording!hehe..fun & more fun..so many things goin on now..and i am enjoying every moment of it..i've never been this happy before!actually i have but the happiness of being single is the great thing i muz say..yeah!So recording and shooting..let the pics talk i guess

And recently..i seem to have found sum1 that kind of understands me a lot..and she seem to be so sweet..and i like her reaction the first time she saw me..and i never expected her to say that..If onlie we could be together, how nice it would bee..it doesn't matter if you are not pretty. thin as long as everything you see in me is sufficient..i dun mind loving you!plus you have got a special name..

So i gotta get busy..sorie if i kind of neglect this blog..reallie bz and very bz

so toodles readerS!

chaoz!

Gone but maybe not!

2008-09-09T09:49:00.003+08:00

The battlefront!
Ola toodles!

when you put your life on the battlefront, you have to be prepared to die or to bring glory to the organisation you are fighting for..but what everybody has always not prepare is that, they never prepare how to encounter the lost..precisely i didn't..and that's why i cried when i got your reply..i'm definitely not angry at you because it was ur choice..i ain't god.. to tell you what to do..but i reallie thank you for the sincerity..and i thank you for your company all these while..i reallie appreciate it..why?

Few mths ago..i was caught totally unprepared by a breakup which left me topsy turvy and the worst Redhwan people has ever seen..the one that doesn't believe in himself..the one that does stupid stuffs and the Redhwan that people never expect to see..but when you came you brought me my remedy..you gave me a power so strong that it brought back my confidence..you were my new pillar of strength..but before i could even decorate or savour that pillar it went down..but i had no choice..once again i was weak..not strong to face it..not strong to pull that pillar again..why?

because i was never prepared how to face the worst..

You dun have to say sorrie..it wasn't ur fault..i understand that you didn't want to break my heart..u continously showed sign of wanting to be frens but i was too stubborn to play with fire till i burnt myself not just my hands..now i'm hurt..i'm terribly hurt..

So you guys should roughly get the idea what happen huh?090908..tragedy..3 days before my egg crack..i've recieved the worst present so please dun give me anymore..can?like in the previous post when this date would be so beautiful next year..but for me it would never be beautiful but a date that i would remember all my life..not for the right reasons but for all the wrong ones..

I'm not embarass that i lost..because those who are have this huge ego in them..bcoz i feel that this is the place where i pen down my thoughts..i'm very happy that this had to end earlier..lucky for me it didn't happen on my b'dae..

Perhaps its true what you say..we might be better as frens..let's see whether its true..and u said we will be together if we are meant to be for each other..we'll see..but wait?isn't that what every girl who turned down ur proposal said?she said who knows it might be a change this time round?we'll see..wah!i have so many things to see..gotta prepare my eyes..gotta prepare myself for the worst and gotta prepare myself how to face the worst..

Is there ever a right time to fall in love?

NEVER..but why people reject is that they are never prepared to fall in love..love doesn't go with time..love goes with feelings..but because feelings follow time love have something gotta do with time..one day perhaps the time comes and feelings change and you'll fall,fall in love..fat hope ah wan eh!

Right now i'm feeling terrible..i ain't gonna hide it because i ain't gonna let it be this way..i'm gotta pick myself up and be stronger than ever before..because i've learned..dun juz be prepared for the worst but be prepared how to face the worst..

So toodles readers!!till we meet in the next post!

chaoz!

090908

2008-09-08T23:26:00.004+08:00

If Only
090908..beautiful isnt it?perhaps not now but a year from now..isnt it nice to celebrate a year anniversary from now..together with your love one?i guess most of you all might agree but are we that lucky to get what we want most of the time?well it depends if u r lucky or not..i aint gonna talk about luck here...

but what has been going around in people's everyday life is love..but wad kind of love?i think u shud noe..i wan u to know that deep in my heart lies u..u've made it your home, worst till u made it ur playground..bt why does it seem as if you dun noe that you are there..did you do it on purpose or you just had no idea u had taken my heart..u cud still say be prepared for the worst..okae i guess..mayb u were juz playing games..i hope..i reallie hope

I am so comfortable with you around..you are my best company..yes we've not met..we've not seen each other face to face for now but you seem to be everywhere i go coz perhaps u made my heart your playground..well alright i guess..

Now that the surprise is near u seem to have some clues what it is..and u said i hope we could still be frens?another joke or juz the truth?i hope it is a joke..haha..werst still u said get it done and over with..woW!caught me by surprise i muz sae..but its alright..sumtimes u cant expect ppl to appreciate ur hard work even if for you it had taken ur time from bed..u cant even scold people if they spit,they dump they dun bother to take a look at ur werk..but who cares..its nt their work they are analysing..

So this is wad i'm talking ab0ut

A feeling that seems to be gone
Now appears with thousand meanings
A love feeling that invites you along
Now I want you to share this feeling

You came back with style
You came with a sincere love
You came to beautify a garden
You came up with this melody

I just want you to know
How honored I am with your presence
That you are willing to lighten up this moody atmosphere
And are you willing to accompany me in this journey
Let us build our castle of love
And I shall perform you my love

I promise loyalty, never to hurt again
I rather die than to hurt you
A forever love that is so beautiful,
So we could savor this moment

I glance the portrait of you
I caress my love to you
I’ll perform you my love, just for you
please understand my feelings for you
Oh Fiza

so yeah!the song is in imeem but it is in Malay..this lyrics are translated..
the lyrics writted by me
music by aidilakmal..(tanks brO!!)
sung by me!

so what's the outcome?
stay tune readers!
toodles!

Fun,funny,funnier!!

2008-09-07T18:29:00.008+08:00

Ola toodles!!its been quite a while isnt it but sorie i'm reallie bz as in reallie bz..hehe..so this is what i have been bz with..

Friday
went fer the ra-ra bazaar auditions,actual plan juz to have fun lah..so we gt selected and we were like serious or wad so yeah..aft that headed to Geylang coz wanna find raya stuffs but can't find anything coz there's tonnes of people..so met my family day and after walking fer a while we chilled to have some drinks but i only had plain water as i had cramps on my stomache..grrr!!!So took some photos!

Wah!close eyes ah?

Nk petik bunge ah seh!heheutk saper ehk?

So continued my day on Saturday where i had to wake up as early as 6 as i need to reach the office by 7 which is located at City Hall..so i din sleep the previous nite as i kept awake to play game with my 2nd bro..spending some quality time together since it would be his last days before serving the National Service..And my dearest Izadd had to be late..so met him straight at Courts Tampines..so made up and off we shot...so funny lah seh!hehe

And then shooting continued on Sunday and it was juz some little additional stuffs that need to be done so yeah!and it finished earlier than the previous day..cool!

So some of you who wants to know what happen watch Suria on Tuesday at 10 or 1030..dun noe which one..hehe!so sum more pictures from the shooting and fun!hehe

Host ,Cempedak Goreng and Semerah Padi

Fadhilah Samsudin,Me & Izzad Mat Vespa

BoybandWith Fadhilah Samsudin

Biler muke baru di make-up kan pada 8 pagi..tk sedap

After Auditions

Cempedak Goreng

Izzad

With Our Batik..very proud ah!

Us with Sufyan Ahmad

Us with the Director Khairudin Samsudin

Us with Fadhilah Samsudin

So till here til we meet in the next post..toodles!!

chaoz!

Why?

2008-09-05T00:29:00.002+08:00

Its like a game of pool

I juz dun understand why?Why muz u come and make trouble..does that serve u any purpose?i'm sorrie if i've offended u in anyway..but i'm reallie sorrie k?wen i was down people were juz too happy..cum and show concern and off u go..so i thought people got tired so i changed ah..happy2 wan like last time..now that i'm happy u are also not happy and decided to disturb people using my name?wad do u get?c'mon tell me!!if u hav got a life lead it..dun mess with my life..

So i'm reallie sorrie to those whose blog has been spammed by my name..i'm reallie sorrie..but it was not me and it will never be me..juz sum soul decides to interfere in my life..

To whoever u are pls dun disturb me can?i'm reallie affected by u..bt if u are reallie nt happy contact me personally and we shall settle it..if u are a real man its time u show urself coz a man shud stand up fer his rights!So please i'm opening the way fer u..so stop hiding yeah!

aND if u are nt happy with me y u muz disturb others bt nt me?tak puas hati sini datang ah..tkde buah pe!bingit siol

k ah chaoZ!toodles reader!

Nothing beats a prayer and the fasting period

2008-09-03T17:21:00.002+08:00

yah!GOT PAIN!!hehe

Right now its true wad poeple say..nothing beats a prayer and the satisfaction that you get frOm fasting..its been a long time since i felt this kind of satisfaction and wah..superb feeling i tell you!hehe..

So y'dae was out buka with fellow SSPeans at woodlands..the actual plan was to eat at kfc but then boring ah everytime kfc onie..hehe..so me ,yum jalil ehem 3 teruna went to the pasar malam and bought lot of food until the three of us felt uber full..hehe..den lepak fer a while and jalil had to go off..

So wen to the opp block from civic,where stood a mult-purpose hall and we had fun there while wating fer arif as i thought them wad is called the lower bird's eye view..hehe

So aft that went back home via MRT and i was super shocked wen i saw iiqa in the train with her family and rabbit..& that moment everything flashed back..nt memories with her but memories with sum1..so yeah..but 1 thing i din like was that her whole family was looking at me one kind..esp her dad and her bro..buat salah pe aku?

So reached home went online and waited fer her to cum online and we chat and then we video called and we kept laughing..hehe..move ur head ah..haha

till here toodles..actually quite lazy to blog one..hehe

Fun & more Fun!!!

2008-08-30T22:40:00.002+08:00

sup readers?its been a while yeah!hehe..so fri went back to Fuhua Secondary School and met some of the old members and some of the teachers who never fail to remember me!..haha cool or wad..

den after dat chill with the malay clique and lepak at teh-tarik..after dat some left and ended only 4 of us went to play pool..there was hafiz,fadhil,raffian and Wan!!haha..so played 3 games, lost two and won one..not bad fer a beginner huh?hehe..

den sol came with wiwie and her fren..so they played and we watched..hehe..so den talk with sol abt sumtin that only me and him would understand..

went back to sch fer sumtin..wait fer the surprise..congrats to those who would understand lah eh..hehe

and finally she is back from camp..how much i miss you!hehe..paham2 je lah eh..so here it goes!

I couldn't believe how i let you go;
it was like a dream more to a nightmare
I couldn't believe there was such;
separation between us,it gave me a scare

And i look up to the sky
As days pass by
And i juz couldn't believe how time flies;
but it definitely took a long time

And finally you're back;
back right up to me
And i definitely won't shag
when you are right here by me

And if i were to be given a chance
I wouldn't want anything or more than this to happen
Or it would send me into a trance
So missing you definitely thought me a lesson
I couldn't stand missing you!

toodles readers!!

Fun and mystery!

2008-08-27T21:00:00.003+08:00

So today my day was revolved around Siti Nur Izzah!pretty gal together with pretty boy together..hehe..so lucky Qayyum!love you all to to the max lah!!

So i went home to take some of my things because i need it this week..and while on the way there..i got a phone call from Izzah and she said she has finished her paper and i've yet to reach home..so i rushed home,took my stuffs and make my way to the bus stop to get to Clementi..

And when i was on my way to the bus stop..a man called me..Hello friend..i turned and i thought as usual people would ask about directions..but instead he asked me what was my name, and i answered..and he introduced himself..Mr Singh from India..so he said i am a very lucky person..and he said,however proper luck has not come yet..it till be very soon..he asked,you are now confused and down between life and love rite?and i said yes..and he went on asking,you are juz heartbroken by love rite?and i said yes..and i am very surprised how he knew all this..he wanted to sit down and continue..he said he could tell me anything..but i declined as i was afraid..very afraid..

So i took the bus after that and upon reaching Clementi i called Izzah and she said she was still in sch so i told her i'll meet u in sch den..so we met and then off we went to West Coast to meet Yum at West Coast Park..then we went by the seaside and we looked at the sea for quite a while..and i'm glad i can be ur Guardian Angel..sure to guard you whenever u need it! so here it goes!

I'll be by your side

Not as a lover,but as a friend

I'll be with u islandwide

Right to the end

As long as you don't mind

my presence here;

I'll be one kind

The kind that will always be there

I'll be your guardian angel

The one to guide,the one to shine

The one to guard you girl

Shining you like a dime

Till here,together

We'll feel the sunshine sharing its warmth

We'll watch the rainbow playing its colours

Right here forever

As the Guardian Angel

Lyrics dedicated to Siti Nur Izzah!!cheers!

toodles readers!!

i"m gonna miss you!

2008-08-26T23:50:00.003+08:00

I've been waiting for you to come and now u did u had to go for a while juz when i felt comfortable having you by my side..but i guess its alright..its juz for a while..so here it goes

~Just for you~

I miss the breeze of the rain
In the coldness of winter
The one that freezes the body
The one that plays with my heart
I'll remember everything
The moment i'm alone

For you i'll film
A missing you story
And for you i'll sing
An adventurous song
An adventure of missing you

So i'll be like this
When you are gone
Coz i'm used to having you here

The dusk that warms
The dawn that cools
And i'm sure you'll be back for me to hug and caress
After not hearing from you for a while

toodles reader!
juz fer u..u shud noe who..i'm gonna miss u terribly!

~My presence~

2008-08-25T23:18:00.004+08:00

So i have been living this blog for quite a while and finally yeah!!!exams are over which means 6 weeks of hols and preparations fer Muzikarama,Fasting month and Raye..i'm all excited!!cool!!So after exam was done for todae,meet the rest of the clique at moberly..watch House of Wax..gruesome show but nevertheless a very good show..den we decided to go to imm to do something..went to daiso to look for stuffs and we were entertain by ourselves caused we camwhore!!let the pics do the talkThe Beijing Spirit!Way to go China

Who should have been the pirate and who should have been the diva?

sumo gerl2..hehe

Moonface due to Mooncake festival!

Tok wan and camera yum

Ambek kau!

We are definitely getting close without speaking and meeting..in fact we dun even know each other but it seems as if i want to be close to you but u seem to be afraid and feared by the last relationship..so here it goes

I used to be played
You used to be taken advantage off
But all this you overcame
Accompanied by tears of hurt

I'm so touched
By what you went through
How i wish to guard you heart
So it won't get hurt anymore

My presence by your side
With the heart's sincerity
I caress with love
No more tears

As long as there is still breath in me
I'll promise you happiness
But when its time for me to leave
Only prayers as my replacement

toodle,readers!!

I've changed but not to a better me

2008-08-21T20:23:00.002+08:00

Firstly i changed this template and my blogskin because i feel that i'm done waiting..because she has certainly found the other half..i'm happy fer her but definitely not with myself..what has happen??Was this change to sudden or very bad for people to accept it?

HAIYO!!

Almost 17 years i've lived to please others..people come and go and they leave the sweetest thank you for me to savour..yet it was something i didnt mind because i was filled with the sweetest love and i could even be the fun guy i was..but when it came to receiving the hardest knock in life ever, it took away my normal life..and no longer was i filled with the sweetest love so i was finding the pieces, the jigsaw pieces to piece back my life..but i got confident and find the pieces that don't fit me perfectly..so i became this rude guy that all of u around me as seen these few days..cool yeah!haha..so i hurt countless people only to realise later that words that came out were to late to be taken back..but i am hurt..i dun want to be this me

I want to be the one that please others but at that time it was because i had love i wanted so could savour and give..but rite now the only love i have is enough to only love myself..so how was it possible to love others and please them..people say its others before self..but why please others when u are suffering?not rite isnt it?i dun noe..

So u say girls are much more sensitive and they are easily hurt..so guys shud mind what they say to girls..and it is sometimes those comments that we meant as a joke they take it seriously and keep to themselves and get hurt because they never knew what we said was meant as a joke..so when they give comment that hurt us and we show our sulking they say dun be sensitive lah..so wad girls do can but what guys do can..i'm not being sexist..and not all girls are like this..there are some..but if u were lucky to meet me earlier then perhaps u might be thankful such a dear guy exists but it was because i had a terrible accident and in a midst of finding myself i have to deal with the world and it is the incomplete me u guys experience these days..so yeah..gotta find it quick..

So i'm still finding myself..
And to FarahD and Aidil Jufri congrats even though i dont know whats between you two rite now but i'm sure u guys are having a great time together..reallie happy for both of you..

so till here..toodles readers!

Mediacorp!

2008-08-18T10:12:00.004+08:00

Me & Huda Ali(personal favourite)
Us with Hyrul Anuar
Us with Musly(He send chills down my spine)
Us with Mr HAwt!Taufik Batisah

Action Star

Fun in Mediacorp Lift
Us with Fauzie LAily
Us with Hady Mirza

Sorrie fer not updating fer quite a while..have been waiting fer these photos..yeah!haha..so friday was there at Mediacorp when the actual plan was only to catch FYI..so aft that Hapheace brought us in to the theatre to watch Sinar Lebaran..we felt really awkward because we were not dressed up in Baju Kurung..but all of us were so thick-skinned that we even join them for reception session(makan2)!!so after that..met the artistes talk with some of them..take pictures..haha..so fun!!

Saturday was a whole day at home studying ah..hardworking at the very last minute..coolness!!

Then Sunday was out with whole family..went to expo..purpose was to let my first brother who has just got his driving license..unfair!wait fer my turn next year..his driving skill was alright because he's used to the road..so yeah!!haha

so till here..toodles readers!!

People Mug i look for love!

2008-08-14T09:30:00.004+08:00

This post has an analogy like the pic

I'm still looking happy despite the fact i have to wash the drain

And i'm over the moon(like the cow), despite the difficulty finding you!

HOla people!!!morning sunshine!

yeah it took me a month's plus to get over it and finally i did so perhaps that's the reason why i'm so happy plus i sense something..something is back, this time round, better, hotter and greater than ever before..wanna noe??ask me..cannot post here..so many kaypoh people later..hehe

But it seems to have no direction at all..i started a new profile online on a website juz to make friends with her but still there's no response,tried to find her friendster from her friends still there's no sign, read her blog to see the future updates about her life but there is not even one single post?..hmm..is it because she has not come online these few days, but its kinda impossible bcoz she is schooling so she muz use the laptop..or is it she's having problems because that's what i found out from her recent blog's post..

HAIYO!!

you got me turning round and round baby..and this love it seem to have no direction and this time round it kinda blinded my skill so back to basics!!(baek kape Atiqa!)

so she wants to see how serious i am this time round..so you have to see for you to believe it eh??haha

so base on this new story of mind like usual i came up with a song!power ah Wan!way to go boy!

~Love with no direction~

Only with the aid of a walking stick

As eyes looking for direction

And darkness as company

As a friend throughout this whole journey

Let my feelings be evidence,

Let the calmness of night accompany

And let my melody be ur whistling tune at night

Oh the wind of the night;

Hear my petition

Sympathy from you, romantic love;

is what i need too

And please send her my love

Oh the wind of the night(2X)

Please help me who's asking for a favour

Oh beautiful moon

Please hear out my lamentations

From day to day,

night and day;

It seems like a rotation

Eventhough I've not met the ray of the sun

If i was dreaming,don't let it be

Wake me up from my nightmare

I'm like a firefly

Because of darkness i'm here;

and because of darkness i'm bright

And let you be dusk

Because of darkness you are there

And because of darkness you are present

So we could co-exist both in the day and definitely in the night

toodles readers!!this is not an emo script..this is a happy person who seem to be in love!

I can't find the right tune

2008-08-11T11:04:00.003+08:00

If you are hurt, why didn't you come back..i'm more than willing to accept you back..bcoz i'm sure you know, i was there to make you smile, to make you happy..i thought you the reason to smile and laugh..si even if you need it for a while, i'm more than willing to share..bcoz w/o you it seems to have no tune..

~I kinda have accepted everything look~
So yeah..as some of you know..i was not able to celebrate my nation's b'dae here in my homeland bcoz i was forced to follow to JB by my parents..one thing i never like when joining them is that there is no kaki..boring..my parents would be in their own world while i have to be in my own world..so that's the reason why i never like to join them..so i felt a strong sense of betrayal while in JB..the plan there was to play Go-Kart..but then it was raining cats and dogs so we din have a chance to race..so after that there were some shoppings and so on..then we had our dinner at Senibong..we had seafood and a lot of other things..from where we were eating we could see the love shaped smoked done by the jets..

So kinda reached home really late and i was super tired

so woke up early the next day for a soccer game..so yeah..feeling the emptiness once more because she was not there but its alright i guess i'll get used to it..so it was a good ferst half coz i saved a penalty..yeah!..but there were a lot of errors in 2nd half that led 2 goals to be converted by the opposition..but its quite a good game..

so not an all entertaining weekend though..

beautiful isnt it?how i wish i could have seen that with you

the girl who took this to make a wish
and it was none other than a smooth ride ahead

i still love you!no girl could ever compare the feelings u gave me..but its alright..i'm happy as long as you are happy..people say when one goes the one that comes back is much better..dun noe how true but my friend aidilakmal is kinda happy these days huh..

till here..toodles readers!

One after another

2008-08-06T16:07:00.002+08:00

Slowly..things seem to get better..but once u are at the bottom of the circle, its hard to even get back to the top..no matter how hard you try, things never fail to pull you down..if that's life then i think it doesnt matter if i wanna complain or be sad about it..
s0 yeah..i'm feeling the pain.. but who will care?

NO ONE!!!!!!!

so but nevermind lah..life is full of ups and downs..when i thought i found the one, she juz had to be someone else's..
so its kinda sad that this kind of thing happening.so its alright..

and then..siket2 pn tak nk blg..biar org yg penting je tao..everything smue nk maen favourite..ni tak nk blg 2 tak nk blg..blg org tertentu..abeh klu org tertentu 2 tak nk pass mcm maner?

sebab 2 tak pernah MAJU!

kla gtg..

toodles readers

I"ve moved on

2008-08-03T19:37:00.002+08:00

It's like finally i've moved on..thanks to God for giving me the strength to jump over this hurdle before my exams so i can focus more on it..
And i don't wanna think about it anymore since u have finalise it that you don't care anymore..and it seems like you hate me to the Earth's core..

Saturday was spent at JB after revising for my FOM paper which is in 2 weeks time..having hols after dat..yeah!haha..went to singgah selalu to eat because we were freaking hungry..then went to shop at Giant..and i saw Azzah..wad a surprise..it took her quite a while to actually spot me..haha..then went to secret recipe for desserts..it was sinful mind you..haha..brownies with ice-cream and ice chocolate with whipped cream..haha

Then today was spent being a karut all day..because had to play dikir at two places..and so became the harut for the day..biase lah..milo,mila and mili..you know i know..but i was quite nervous because it has been a while since i became a karut..yeah..

so now rushing to cc for some performance by Aliff and Maiya Rahman..c ya!!bye2

toodles readers!!

I'm done

2008-07-31T22:08:00.003+08:00

Received a very surprising sms from FarahD..she wanted to meet me..and i knew it was ntg good..but i dare not made any assumptions..juz like what i thought she was there to return stuffs, she confronted me about why i kept pestering and bugging into people's life..but i din know why my tongue was twisted and for once i could not even relate my heart to my mouth..and for once i remained quiet..i could not express anything in front of her..and she told me nonsense..so much for wanting to stand up for my rights..you want to no wads nonsense?

1)To be abandoned by your own mum in the hospital; that is nonsense

2)To be abandoned by your own dad who has to go to jail when you were born; that is nonsense

3)To be abandoned by the girl i love m0st; that is nonsense

why is it you cant understand why i want to know so much about you eventhough i said i've moved on?because i cant forget the memories we spent together..yes i admit it was juz fer a while but it was enuf to cause my whole world to turn upside down..i know you no longer had feelings for me when u asked for a break up..why i cant say anything in front of you?because i cant even speak properly when i'm with you..it was awkward..it took my capability to talk well..and why i cant say anything is because it never come across my mind to have a battle of words when i was with you..i din come over from school to fight..

btw tanks..eventhough it wasnt a nice meeting..as it was filled with arguments,not arguments rather..but those rough words u let out..i was contented to meet you..to hear your voice after a long while..because i know it could be impossible to hear you talk to me ever again..impossible to ever meet you again..impossible to recieve a text message from you ever again..eventhough it was a scolding it was pleasant to my ears..

and even if i know the guy i wont beat him, because i wont damage your love..i know if he is the one then i'll give you my blessings..and i know he is lucky to have you..while i will be happy if you are happy..but if he doesnt treat you well then perhaps i might get angry but i'm very sure that he wont because he will be a good guy to you..

and i'm sorry because i must have wasted your time just now..i'm reall sorrie..because tanks to it i could have a look at you for the last time perhaps, hear you talking to me for the very last time, see you sitting across me for the very last time..

because i'm afraid i wont have the chance to do it again..i'm turning away for a while..perhaps i'll be back if i'm really fine but i'm juz afraid i'll be away forever from here

I thought it was the end of missing you

When you lover call you back

A castle awaits beautifully

When my lover talks about the previous love

Cant even response with words

Can i respond with tears

A sign of relieveness,receiving it after a while

Being a slave to this world

A thousand years won't be the same

With a second in love together

Because of love i'm willing to sacrifice soul and life

The sun shines brightly together with the moon

The presence of shadow due to light

That's how our love was

There is no space in separating anymore

I receive and give with sincerity

A thousand years and a million steps

A thousand years shining our love

We will meet at the end of our missing times

Even if the whole world were to turn their back against me; i would love myself more

FUN & MORE FUN!!

2008-07-28T08:40:00.003+08:00

sorrie fer not updating..hehe..gonna update about wad happen last weekends coz its fun and more fun..haha

SATURDAY

woke up as early as 845 due to the alarm clock,but i snoozed it only to wake up at 930..so rush3..den leave the house at 1015..take bus to j.east interchange and saiful asked to wait for him..so i waited and he was late..suppeerrrr late!!aidil called and asked where i was and he was shocked wen i said jurong coz it was already 1052 by then..haha..so once met saiful,off to suntec..otw there,there was this rudegal(ruddies lah)haha..tk lah lawa..not pretty at all..then saiful said,the rudegal juz now pretty ah..i was shocked..taken aback onlie to realise his taste was bad..haha

so preparations stuffs and all..warmup,change,bergaya,makeup(thanks fikri)..all set for show..only to feel nervous at back stage..my legs were shaking..cool or wad..haha.so then show went on and it was bad due to the sound system..my sedi-(was loud)and went i went ia(wah so soft ah)mic spoil ah..so had to project my voice but it wasnt loud enough so i use my throat and end up straining my voice..

aft dat wen to khatib to watch dance..yayness!!all the dance gerls pretty lah can?hehe..but got one exceptionally pretty..u noe who lah..haha..took pics ade siket jek..the rest are with e photographers..have yet to get from them..

isnt she hot?!!

So these are the only pics in my fone..haha sadded..but alrite..confern later hav one ah..haha
they pretty rite???haha

Me & the gorgeous gals!

SUNDAY
so gave tuition as per normal..called and they tole me they'll be meeting at 2 +..so i rush again lah..den i reached orchard at 3..so walked my way to forum..forum the shopping mall pathetic sak..haha..so i called and asked..they say they otw..so wait lah..went to 7 eleven get my power redbull!!yah!!haha..den at 415 ,my sis called and say wait at e Hard Rock Cafe beside forum..so i waited..and waited,and waited..till i hav this feeling of wanting to go hme..mcm nk jln jek..and waited..and until 515..yeah..they came..met my mom,step-dad.step-sisters and off to a karaoke session..yeah!!My favourite event of the day..haha.so sing and sing..until 8 we stop and off to west coast for dinner..and met a lot of people that i know off..si swalihin ah..step cool je kat tepi..haha..maklum lah..juare terbaek..haha..so after dinner went to mac ang get big mac,double cheeseburger for my hungry parents who were rather thankful for the food..yayness!!so yah..

however i can predict that next week weekends are gonna be boring coz no more activities, and dynamo are off to training..so i guess i better get cracking and studying fer my three major semester papers
FOM-18 Aug
PACC/ ECONS-Each one either on 20th or 25th of Aug

study2 time!
toodles readers

Yeahness!!+BOOness!!

2008-07-25T10:47:00.003+08:00

One more day to Suntec show and i cant wait..i mean its like years since i acted in public..i juz hav this exciting feeling that is gonna be great..wad more with the support of frens..yeah..plus she will be there..how cool is that..haha!!

how i wish i could tell you straight i'm in love with you..but the fact that you are someone else's,makes me kinda step back a lil..i envy u since the first time i met you...you were one hell of an attraction..got me magnetized through your magnetic attraction..

but its alright..like wad yum said..there are many fishes in the sea

i dun understand why you take advantage of me when i was at my most vulnerable period

Why is it,i'm easily tricked
By sweet words with fake intention
It may sound nice on the surface
But deeper to it were just lies

I'm hurt,my heart is badly hurt
Who would care?;
With this heart who never had happiness
It made me sad,
It made me down,accompanying my heart disaster

I have to admit, i'm weak
So its easy for you to play with this heart
Just because you have all it takes
To magnetize me with your magnetism

You were bold enough to hurt;
this guy who has not recovered
In fact you were like
Adding salt to the wound

toodles readers!!

~I juz wonder~

2008-07-23T11:32:00.002+08:00

I juz wonder if god reallie hates me?i dun noe anymore..but its alright..juz a short post coz i'm not in the mood to blog..

1)You've found someone,or that someone was the reason for the breakup?

2) I didn't manage to make it to the preliminary rounds fer my SB Talentime.cool or wad?favourites..so much fer professional judges when don't even know about english songs..but its alright..it's not meant to be

meanwhile..i think i like you doesnt sound nice..i like you can?hehe..if you know who lah kan..haha..hawtstuff seh!!I'm straight yaw!haha..

till here..toodles readers

I don't know anymore

2008-07-22T08:13:00.002+08:00

WHich way do i go?

Should i wait or move on like what everybody says..painful to know when it could have been a lie all along..well perhaps it reallie made me realise,bt i didn't know how it could change me but its alright..yeah..i'm irritating,a mocking bird but its alright..i would never interfere anymore..

she has definitely move on in life..going for dates..all the best to you..i have so many thoughts in my head..but i'm actually enjoying singlehood not like my fren y'dae(couple lah) they were fighting because the guy had to go home late due to practice and then so on..i was like imagining how is it to have a girlfriend so close..i hope one day i could m0ve on 2..because i don't want to keep hoping anymore..

so it has been a pretty tiring and busy week..practices go super late till like about 11 in the night..but yeah i agree with Haddad it is still lacking sumwhere..it doesn't have this ummph! factor..vocals are reallie bad..acting are not natural(lacking of expressions) and voice projection..that's the basic in theatre..c'mon we can do it..juz a few more days to it!!!way to go SSP heritage fest cast..and go arep..u can do it..must finish the props yeah!!

I look back onlie to realise the glimpse of hope,the light that i have been leaning on was juz a deflection of diamonds..it was virtual,not one where u can look upon too forever..what lies infront was juz a forever in neverland..yeah i was dumb enough to fall into the trap and you were clever enough to trap..but i dun want to look back..coz its time to move on..

Party!

2008-07-18T20:45:00.003+08:00

hey..currently at mummy's hse..celebrating her 59th b'dae..cool or wad..and i was given the honour to read the prayers and was reallie cool..hehe

so yeah..hav not receive any results about the auditions..so i guess still hoping for the best yeah..

and i found out sumtin that was a lil bit off the mood but who cares..i'm moving on..no obstacles can stop it i guess

basically till here..not a lot of fun things to blog..till here..

toodles readers

Finally

2008-07-16T11:25:00.002+08:00

Hey readers..finally, braced enough courage to move on in life..after all, there's no point lingering if it's not meant to be yeah?
hehe

So yeah..life has been pretty on the up..so many auditions..love it..
muzikarama auditions..hope to get selected in the main role yeah?
balaa shahidnaa auditions held at kembangan..receive pretty good reviews but too bad its just a stage performance not one that would appear in Suria..i really hope to get into Suria one day...got to show the talent in acting yeah
and one more thing which is SB Talentime..wanna represent the school for SP Star..
who noes might be a lil like Hyrul Anuar

However,its still bad on studies..its time to buck up!!study2 time wan..stop day dreaming in your own world boy..

One sad thing though i wont get to play in Perdana cause i cant be there for training reallie bz with auditions and school..hehe..but nevermind..will be there to support..GO!! NANG KEPONG NANG!!(MYK)conferm baek nye!

untill here then..rushing off to class..

signing off
toodles readers

Its been a while

2008-07-09T08:49:00.003+08:00

hey firstly i wanna say sorry for not updating for quite a while..juz have been too busy with school work, preparations for CA2, preparations for Perdana Saringan..lagu gerek..haha..wa mau maen ah..haha

ok..yeah..it has been almost two weeks something i thought never would happen, happened.but i guess its alright..every life has its ups and downs and i guess its down..yeah..
this two weeks have been topsy turvy and i din noe wad i was doing all this while and how exactly i managed to survive this ordeal..

SATURDAY
meet the others at j.east platform at 11 for the soccer match and getting use to going with the team mates rather than you noe who..the trip was great cracking jokes coz we missed spending time together..haha..the game started and i was not in the mood as i was sick..i fumbled today..letting in 4 goals after a few world class saves but hard luck yeah?the ball is round.. then went to vivo to eat, then straight to mummy's hse..upon reaching..i slept till 9, played game for a while then sleep till the next morning

SUNDAY
gave tuition and finish around 115 where i wanted to get to sleep again but i resented as i dun wanna open my eyes in the night coz there's no point..no one to talk to now..so bored in the night..haha..then went out to fetch my brudder, ZEE yaw! from Darul Mawar ( is that how you spell it?hehe ) coz we wanted to see his driving..oh well..juz pass ah..congrats bro!but i have to admit i was rather scared..hehe..but after a while i guess he is kinda good at it huh..haha

MONDAY
din go to school..was on MC. then i went to meet my vocal teacher aka Sol boxer longgar..hahaha..but there was no teaching session as he was sick juz like i am..so we spend the time talking and then zaid came then we talk coz its been a while since the three of us talk yeah!haha..

the rest of the days were normal school routine and i blog coz ppl sae walao weh long tym never blog..haha..

release u?i tot i already did..you can have your way now..i wun interfere with your life..for those who kept asking of the whereabouts, juz tell them its not meant to be..coz that's how i accept the terms..faggot?wow..ouhk..if thats the name after baby..i accept it..holding hands with a gal?so much for wanting to die?send you a text mxg for a patch up?ok..haha..news travel fast..but i juz dun get it why it doesnt travel that the girl in my heart will always be you?but ok..its all over..

Sometimes i cry about us
Nobody really knows the way i feel
I'm trying to survive without you
How do i make you understand that i'm for real

ok readers..toodles gotta go..script reading..cya!!

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence

2008-07-02T20:34:00.006+08:00

I'm willing to get hurt in the end rather than living without knowing your love..biar akhirnya terasing dariku hidup tanpa kenal cintamu

Finally i know the actual reason why you left...cum to think of it yeah i was in the wrong..i never knew what i was doing was wrong till it happen to myself..

HOT NEWS!!

perhaps not all guys would post this but i would coz a real man accepts and admits his mistakes..and is never afraid to share coz men who don't, have this bad thing called EGO! The resaon why Tengku Farah Dila Binte Tengku Muhammad Safik Bin Tengku Abdul Rahman decided to leave Muhammad Redhwan Bin Wahid Bin Buang was that i was controlling her too much..

YEAH..i admit..but perhaps it was because i was afraid of losing you..i was so comfortable with you by my side all along that everywhere i go i would never fail to ask you to tag along...even if we have spent the whole day together, hearing your voice on the fone would be my ending melody for that day..and even if i would be going out with people that is in my CCA, bringing you along would be my choice coz i want people to know that i'm proud to have you as mine..i want people to know that we share this big thing called love...yes i dun care if its 9 or 10 in the morning but all i want to do is to be with you..yes i dun care if you are tired coz all i ever need is you..you were becoming a part of me that i couldnt separate illusions from reality..so yeah...i was definitely wrong in the relationship..

I'm happy coz i finally know the actual reason and i'm much more contented..yeah..your frens blame me coz i controlled you like in cage..there was no freedom..yeah i admit..at least i know it was my mistake..yeah

but you were too perfect when we were together that i never realise that you actually never like it..you smiled the moment we met..you laughed wen i cracked a joke..you were happy to have small silly fights with each other..you were laughing and happy wen we talked on the phone..you liked the long chats coz that's after all how we felt in love

so how i was i to know that i was controlling you..you seem to be going along with it well..the least you could do was to tell me what i was doing was wrong..but you went to do the maximum which was to leave..i had no choice..but to accept..

that's all readers..till we meet the next tym..

toodles!!

But now..everything are memories..yeah..i was happy to have that memories..but i regretted wad i did..but that's all in the past yeah??

later not now..hehe

2008-07-02T11:36:00.003+08:00

Currently in school,somewhere near the convention centre..study area

there's sumtin that i wanna blog about but i'm afraid i dun hav the tym to finish till my next class which is 22 mins away and then 400m away..haha

so hold on readers..be sure to catch the next hot and sad post?haha..how does hot and sad links?hehehe..you'll be amazed..haha

looking at the picture..wad do u see??seram kan?hahaha

c ya!!love you all

toodles!

Hey..look on the bright side player!

2008-06-29T20:37:00.003+08:00

Walaupun api cinta tidak lagi bernyala,luahan hati tetap akan bersuara

Looking at the pic i guess u guys can already guess huh??its over..yeah it really is..

It happen on Saturday morning wen i receive an sms saying its over..there were 3 reasons
1) not bcoz of any third parties
2) she felt she has already changed
3) she felt i'm way too good fer her

aft i read that sms, i juz cant get to sleep till the next day..and that moment i felt my werld turn upside down..and it really did..for once i really felt like dying..i had no mood to do anything not even to do what i love most, eating..i smsed to sum folks who are definitely me bestest frens and they like me go shocked..they say its ok..look on the bright side..dun think too much..
but how can i do that wen i felt she was the one?
i braced enough courage to stand up on my feet and then freshen myself up den get out of the house to my aunt's place coz that's where i can relieve myself..i wasnt ok till nite until i talked to my bro and he gave a preety good advise and i guess he was right..he really was...
si i kinda forget about it till night reallie came and i missed the fact that she would call and we wud spend the time laughing together..ehh..not gonna happen anymore
i remembered crying on the phone
n she wud kindly ask
y my dear?
i'm afraid of losing you
she said: dun worry, i'm not gonna leave you, i'm juz afraid you would..

but its ok, coz i got better over tym and i learned how to cope with this feeling..

so today was a better day..din think too much..then went out with my family to imm to catch our lunch and then i suggested west coast park coz i definitely need to stress out!!hehe
i screamed the moment i face the sea and i said sumtin which made myself teared..my mum did too lah..hehe tanks mum..

hie god..in a moment you could turn this calm waters into raging waves and even in the blink of an eye...you could even crash this boats with your power..but y cant you hold my relationship with hers?did it juz slipped your hands??yes i admit..i haven't been praying to you but i'm also you creation that needs your help..but its ok..tanks fer everything

i walked off..still not in the mood..but den i was fine wen i sang loudly to my heart's content..haha
yeah!hehe

btw that's sumtin i'm not happy abt..but shall not mention it here..btw its not about that relationship

last but not least,

Sadness in between coldness
Going through loneliness
Dead relatioship without a tomb
Sadness always linked with separation

A love story that had hopes
now only appear as dreames
it held my breath,blurred my vision
i'm pretty hurt
by you disapperance

Why is it i'm still hoping
eventhough i know that you would never come back

Your absence filled a call
Eventhough you are still needed
We were once said a sweet couple
but now all left are memories

pictures would remain..templates would..names would..
they remain as memories..coz i never wanted you to go..but it was your choice
i had to accept

I STILL LOVE YOU!!

FARAH.

2008-06-26T18:00:00.001+08:00

SORRY.
ILY.

Much Love,
farahD.

I don't know anymore

2008-06-26T10:20:00.003+08:00

No matter what, I LOVE YOU!!

So i decided to rush from sch to jurong sec aft my exams, coz like finally i managed to meet dear for the week..little did i know, sumtin fun would turned the opposite..

I cud hav been to the library with my mates studying for our final paper but nothing can ever challenge dear wen it cums to decision-making..coz you noe my decision will always link with you..

I was in fact feeling tired and weak to the sudden change of weather, i was having a bad cough and i was running a temperature..but due to the fact that i noe you were the best of all medicines, i decided to meet uo with u with the hope of spending time with you

When i suggested to you to play around at my place, you rejected saying you were tired..
i cud understand but i had no power to force you..

So we took the bus and we barely even talk in the bus coz i din had the mood..so wen it was reaching, i asked again and again you declined..
so i allighted w/0 saying bye or our normal goodbyes...

That was when i smsed her, and she said sorrie coz she was tired and stuff
i dun understand y u r my medicine wen i'm not even urs
haiss

only god knows the feeling of soaking those pillows again at night..
it sucks..plus my coughing it made me go to the toilet over and over again cause i felt like vomitting..

i talked on the phone with sum fellas who understand and then i still couldn't sleep
only to doze off at about 3 in the morning

wan burung ~ signing off ~

We miss each other!

2008-06-24T08:51:00.005+08:00

hola...morning people!!!!!

sedikit semi sedikit kita daki
akhirnya sampai ke tahap gergasi
(pandai-pandai tafsirkan lah eh)

btw...dear had tuition y'dae..but wad was interesting was that she was given the permission to sleep for a while coz she kept dozing off while doing maths..i would never dozed off if it was maths definitely..hehe

so she was super tired..but i was super selfish(maen-maen aje),
told her to call, talk for a while coz i would dier w/o hearing her voice..haha
den i was very selfish wen i asked her abt sum stuffs which she already told me, so she had to talk all over again and her voice kept deteriorating, getting slower and slower,
finally i said to her, kidding lah dear..go to sleep
(so she did lah)

but i was struggling to fall asleep..so i grabbed my notes and i barely read a page i dozed off..haha

so i woke up this morning with a nice dream and it put a smile to my face..haha
i dreamt that we were giving out our wedding invitation cards..funny rite..how sweet!!
how i reallie wish time would pass that fast..but take it slow wan!!hahaa

@ 645 i called her and she was in class..she got shocked wen i called...but too bad lah dear
I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Wan Burung ~signing off~

Ferst tym wan update ah!!haha

2008-06-23T09:02:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a great day spent together(in fact any day we spend together would be great lah kan???)

we were supposed to get to siglap south cc but we ended up at singlap cc which means we got lost..but after asking for directions and checking out at bus stops we finally manage to get our way there..yeah!! & lucky enough we din miss any of the groups..so instead of being late we were rather on time..jyeah!

we watched all the groups and for both categories both dear and me find it hard to decide the winner and who shall bring home the individual categories..they've gone up a standard high..way to go seni dikir barat!!!

but wad was disheartening was that, dear felt sick halfway through due to the loudness here and there..she is definitely not used to this loud kind of singing..hehehe..
but after the great showmanship by the 2nd batch of guys groups she was fine..
but then again the awok2 got louder because strong batch of awok2 lah kan., she felt sick again

but i told her i would help to massage her otw back in the train..back in the train i massaged her while her head was resting against my shoulder..oooooo..GEREK!!haha

den drop her off at jurong east and we bid our farewell!! ( i hate this part..goodbyes are never great)

then we washed uo together, (she wash up at her place i wash at mine lah nottie2!!)
waited for while and she called..only god knows how nice it is to hear her voice but both of our tiredness made the conversation short and finally we decided to go to lala land!!

dear is having a long day in school todae due to speech day rehearsal!!

Muhammad Redhwan is having a test and will finish even before lunch time!
(Gerek Kape???!!)

HELLO.

2008-06-19T15:09:00.001+08:00

MUHD REDHWAN IS COMING HOME FROM CAMP TODAY.
YEAHNESS!

Much Love,
farahD

YEEEEEEAH.

2008-06-14T15:48:00.000+08:00

Going to Pertapis Children Home was a pitiful sight.
:/

But soon after that, we had our delicious lunch at Ljs ( like where else? )
And tons of photo takings.
Perhaps, I will let them talk!
Yeah?

Somehow, pouting is our favourite.
:}

The guy who loves Lacoste so so much.
*GRRRRRRR.

Suh-weeeeeeet.
Ohkay, tak malu!

Being sillaye.

We don't have to pretend whenever we meet.
:}

Last but not least,
the CHEEKY MONSTORS.
:D

Muhd Redhwan will be away for a chalet.
:}

Much Love,
farahD.

#2.

2008-06-10T20:41:00.001+08:00

Watched Mister's match today.
It was scorching hot and Zaid & I just couldn't stop perspiring. Oh dear~
But who cares? Just as long as we could spend time together.
Kan, Mat?
:}

Oh well.
What can I say?
We're blinded.
:D

Much Love,
farahD.

HELLO WORLD.

2008-06-09T14:40:00.000+08:00

This blog is created on 9thJune at 240PM.
:}